Surfacing

The Lamictal is helping. Even on the tiny dose I'm on, my mood has lightened and evened out by several degrees. Not perfect, but better. I suppose it could be placebo effect at this point, but I feel like I have my head above water again for the first time in months.

On the other hand...having my head above water allows me to see the extent of the flood, as it were. On Saturday, I went to see the latest Harry Potter movie, walking to the theater and back, about 3/4 mile each way. I enjoyed the movie and the walk, but since then, I have been benched with an increase in symptoms. My neck has been extremely stiff and painful, my shoulder muscles stiff, and my calf muscles cramping into knots. I have taken it very easy, and have had a hot bath or shower every night before bed, but it hasn't helped. I have been waking up itching in the middle of the night, and I'm itchy a lot during the day...a sort of prickly heat that comes and goes. Last night I couldn't stop scratching my ankle, and when I checked, there was a raised rash. (I forgot to mention it, but I was actually waking up itching before I started the Lamictal.) Today I had splintering pain in multiple joints in addition to the neck pain. My right eyelid was twitching all day, and late in the afternoon I got a right-sided migraine. I went to bed and fell asleep briefly. I still have the migraine now...haven't taken anything for it. So far, since I started taking prophylactic B2 and CoQ10 last year, I haven't had a migraine last into a second day. I'm hoping that will be the case this time too. I haven't used my migraine medicine since last year either -- afraid that I won't be able to distinguish migraine from rebound headache if I do.

Nothing new...but that's just it, nothing new. Not better. I want to feel better.

Last night, I had a dream about escaping, in the night, by boat. The boat was a gondola, and I had one long oar. Sometimes I wish that I could really escape, even if only for a little while.